Weekend to end breast cancer 2007

This is not a pitch for donations.... I know that many of you here have already donated, or you have many other worthy causes which you support.

I just want to honor my "team", the 2006 version is shown above - my sister in law, Karen, my brother Darry, neice Heather Sherlock (then age 12) and my sister Kelly. This year, they are joined by my brother-in-law Gary and by my neice Holly.

I am humbled and astounded that they are willing to make the effort both to raise the large sum of donations required ($2000/pp) as well as making that long long walk, rain or shine.

Please read their stories at the Joanne's team pages of the walk...... http://www.endcancer.ca/site/TR?team_id=24796&pg=team&fr_id=1203 I know they inspire and touch me.... and if by chance you have not made a donation, I think the grown-ups are doing fine, but the girls are a little behind.

Thanks you to Holly, Heather, Kelly, Gary, Darryl, Karen. You are heroes to me.

Joanne

P.S. Day #3, Round #3 of chemo, a feel lousy, but sentimental and sappy sort of day!

To the birds

About a month ago, Dad and Brian put up this bird feeder just outside the window beside my bed in the sunroom. Mom keeps it stocked and because this particular window does not see any direct sunlight, I can watch the birds all day. Brian made this bird feeder several years ago, a primitive, but very enjoyable result. And I have enjoyed this, and we've tried to identify a few birds, etc.....

But of late, the bird feeder has become a big source of stress. The squirrels (whom I previously admired) are really just little scavenger piglets, who have no fear of anything, animal, human or otherwise. They make their way up that skinny pole, wedge their "pleasantly plump" carcas onto the shelf of the house, and commence to stuff their little faces with as much bird seed as possible until we manage to chase them off, no small feat. And while the little birds scrap with each other, it's at least a fair fight, not so with Mr. Squirrel, nothing can stop him. AND, we now have a larger black bird who spend a few days perched on top, but has since figured out how to hunch on the lower shelf and help himself, also scaring all the little birdies.

Sheesh, and I imagined a peaceful nature scene, I think I am really more suited to indoor nature, the realities of the out-of-doors never cease to raise my blood pressure.

Anyway...... it's Day 1 of Cycle 3 of chemo. Time for me to hunker down and get through, and this usually lasts through to about Day 5 - at which time I start getting Neupogen shots for my white counts, causing a bit more pain, etc.... Anyway, I will not likely be available. My usual survival strategy is to nap in between eating and sleeping. However, I will emerge, after a few days, hopefully unscathed, and I will check in next week.

My continued thanks for your lovely and thoughtful and beautiful responses on my blog, I hope no one feels obliged to leave a comment. However, I must tell you how much it lifts my spirits and my heart to read your kind thoughts.

Love to all, Joanne

Summer at 26 Selkirk Crescent

You can't really see much of the new (Beautiful) aggragate concrete driveway in this photo, but you can see the beautiful flowers that my mom planted for us, and although the yard is still recovering from the sewer line damage last fall, it looks pretty inviting out there!

Not much to report for me. I have been having pesky fevers that hover around the "threshold fever" and this creates stress and uncertainty and a lot of calls to my medical team, but so far, I have remained out of hospital and doing OK. I am still fairly weak, and my energy level is so low it is hard to describe. Even short phone calls tire me out, but I am managing those not too bad, so if anyone would like to talk for a short time, I think I can manage that (depending on the day). Visits are still mostly not an option, although a few family members visit, that is my limit at the moment.

Still very happy to hear from everyone either through email, this blog or by snail mail. I appreciate your continued good thoughts and prayers.

Joanne - Look (below) at our "crop"!!!

Michelle's favourite friends........

Well, if any of you have been around Michelle in the past couple of months, it is a fair bet to guess that you have heard about Adam. So, here is a photo.... above are Adam, Michelle and Heidi, sitting in our sunroom here in Regina.

Things are pretty calm right now around here. Everyone is back from California, and they all had a great time. Michelle was a little sick, and she had a bit of a rough journey home, but otherwise, they are all so glad they got to go to the wedding.

I am about the same... The first (and worst) week of chemo round #2 is over, and I'm heading into the "good week", so that is very good, from my perspective. My breathing is roughly the same, the right lung is still collapsed and still surrounded with fluid, so I continue to manage the pain with morphine and the breathing with oxygen and by a very sedentary lifestyle. (this translates easily as I am basically spending 24/7 in my hospital bed.... what a gift that is.... is is adjustable so I can always get it into a comfortable position. My temperature has been normal (yippeeeeeeee) and my appetite and overall "how do I feel" is good.

That's it! The news this week is very "ordinary" and that is very WELCOME.

Joanne

Here is my lovely family enjoying my cousin Sean and Molly's beautiful wedding at Carmel-by-the-sea, California. Darryl has been sending Mom and I photos, and we have been enjoying watching events unfold by photo! It looks like it was a truly happy and wonderful event. They were married on 7-7-07, but it doesn't look like they need extra luck to enjoy a long and happy life together, I think they have what it takes right now!

Michelle flies back to Winnipeg to get back to her job (lifeguard at Fun Mountain water park). Gord and the boys are headed with Peggy and her kids to spend a couple of days in San Francisco. My boys will then head straight back to Regina. I'm so glad that they've had this wonderful holiday and were able to spend more family time together with the extended family. We all feel a tremendous amount of support from these loving relatives.

As for me, it is Day #4 of my second chemo cycle of Myocet and Cytoxin. I should feel less of the effects of that in a day or two.... Starting Monday, I will be receiving shots of "Neupogen" to stimulate my white blood cell production..... this should prevent me landing in the hopsital again with low blood counts.... and it will make me less susceptible to every little germ or bug around. Good news.

I feel about the same, the shortness of breath and pain from my collapsed lung is about the same, but my homecare team is really helping me get my medication schedule sorted out so that it is as best it can be. I do not feel worse, which I choose to take as a good sign, but I am still not mobile, need to use the oxygen, my wheelchair, and my hospital bed to keep me breathing in comfort.

However, I am getting used to this new reality. It really is a miracle how adaptive we all are, when circumstances leave us no choice. This has been a very difficult transition to make for me, physically and emotionally, and I am grateful to all of you for being so supportive, and respecting my needs at this time.

Cheers for now - Joanne

"What can we do to help? "

It has most certainly been the most stressful, trying month of my life. And a great big thank you to all of you wonderful supporters who have been asking "What can I do?". For the most part you have been given a non-answer. We were so caught up in trying to get through each day, that I, for my myself, could not concentrate or imagine what another day might be like, and what might help.

Just so you know, I am completely grateful for all the support we have received; we need no other "thing". For those that wish, please know that everything you have done is "good enough"... we feel blessed and lucky and loved.

However, we keep being asked, So.......... I thought I'd give a little status update.

Gord and the kids have gone to a family wedding in California. And, in case that seems strange or selfish to you, please be generous in your thoughts about Gord and the kids. They are under tremendous stress, and it was my request that they go, enjoy and learn to be a strong family unit in a happy setting, even when times are difficult, while I can still enjoy from my comfortable bed.

My wonderful mother is for all intents and purposes my main caretaker. She is now with me virtually 24/7 and she helps me with all the day to day things I can't manage as well as being a huge emotional support that I just lean on shamelessly. My dad keeps the homefires burning, and also runs all manner of errands, and he sits with me when my mom is not around. That is going well, and at the moment, my mother does not want help for herself or anyone. Not just yet anyway.

At the moment, the truth is, that I am not physically or emotionally able for real visiting. The best I can offer anyone who wants to come to Regina anyway, is short (i.e. 30 minutes) of visiting me lying in a bed. And we are not in any way able extend the hospitality that we orinarily enjoy sharing with you, our friends and family. We cannot have anyone staying at our home. I hope this improves, but right now, it is the truth.

Anyway, thanks to my Aunt Lorna Mae who had this excellent suggestion: If you want to do something for me, please go and donate some blood. I had 2 units given to me this past hospitalization and they have helped me to feel so much better. I expect I will need it again. If you would like to do something concrete, please consider this. It will help me and many other people. And since, at this exact time, there is nothing physical that I need, it would be an ideal way to help in this way.

Especially all you B+ types (that is me)...... a rarer kind (just like me)............

Thanks friends, for considering this unique way to show support of me.

At home again

I am back at home again, and hopefully it "sticks".

After my kudos to our health care system, I can safely give my one current big beef, which is the entire ER system. Doesn't matter where I live or which one I go to, they are all a big nightmare, and at all costs I would like to stay out of them. Hopefully my temperature cooperates.

I will write more as I am able. Right now my fatigue level is high, my pain is managed, and my breathing is much better managed as well. I am quite comfortable, but I am also emotional and overwhelmed, and I still feel like I don't know what will happen next.

My next chemo treatment is this Thursday and so I will be gathering my emotional and physical resources to get through that. Right now I am not very capable of doing much by way of visiting or talking to people. I hope that I find that that energy returns to me, but in the meantime, I'd like to express my appreciation for your continued warm and loving responses here on this blog. I will appreciate it if you continue to communicate in that way.

For a more private message, my email address is jschweitzer@sasktel.net. I am not at the computer regularly, but will do my best to keep up.