Hello from Joanne, and happy belated "Valentines' Day ! Although, frankly, this day has never held a huge place in my life, I will admit that it was "sweet" this year to soak up all the love and good wishes that are permanently floating around my house.
I am doing better than I think anyone could have expected. The pnuemonia seems to be cleared up, I seem to have made it through the radiation without terrible ill effects, and in many ways my hospital stay was a good "tune-up" and it helped me in more ways than one.
I have a new schedule AND new additional meds for pain, and it has worked very effectively - I am in better shape pain wise than before the hospital, I think I just hadn't really noticed. Also, some of the unpleasant symptoms I had been having - such as those brutal coughing spasms, have really been under better control, again, with another new medication not previously tried.
While things were indeed quite dire and serious for awhile there, the emergency seems to have abated and I feel like I've managed to dodge the bullet, at least for now. It's hard to quantify, because things change slowly, but I do think that I am regaining strength. My oncologists are optimistic once again about my physical state, and are again talking about adding chemo (palliative dosages from now on) to see if they can improve my breathing.
One thing I CAN truthfully say, is that even with all my limits, I am truly able to enjoy my life, such as it is. I'm delighted to wake up to each new day and actually get excited about it, I'm all ready to roll when mom arrives at 8 am, and that is quite a new experience for a sleepyhead like me.
I do have incredible fatigue (expected from radiation and whole brain radiation) so I rest alot. However, that's my only "job" right now, so it is very doable, I have a huge network of support - especially from my mom and from Gord who make my life completely managable. Given that my energy is still so limited, I must of course "budget" it, and for me this means I continue to visit with family only at the moment. And I appreciate all of your understanding.
There really are no words for me to find, to express my gratitude and devotion, to all of you, my family and friends. Your support of me, and my family, each in your own unique way, really does make a difference. For me, it is tangible. Every kind thought, prayer, every item of food, every gift of cheer, of flowers and cards, even every bit of correspondance (email and snail mail still are best for me) lifts me up and helps me to face the journey. I think it helps my family in similar ways.
So, thanks so much to all of you, whether you know it or not, you make a difference.
Sending love to all - Joanne